雅思寫作中分詞和從句的運用 | 附作文批改

寫作中,對於兩個獨立有相同賓語或主語的句子,可以將其中一個的謂語處理為分詞,組合成一個句子;同時,大家可以嘗試將多個從句組合起來,表達更復雜的意思。

01 分詞的運用

分詞作補充

原句:

Many universities encourage students to do part-time jobs。

許多大學鼓勵學生做兼職。

Part-time jobs allow students to put theory into practice。

兼職可以讓學生結合實踐和理論。

最佳化後:

Many universities encourage students to do part-time jobs, allowing them to put theory into practice。

許多大學鼓勵學生做兼職工作,這讓他們可以結合實踐和理論。

原句:

Roughly similar amounts of people left the UK for financial reasons (10%) and tax purposes (9%)。

因為經濟(10%)和稅收(9%)原因離開英國的人比例大致相同。

The similarity suggests that the wealthy are apparently finding that Britain asks too much of them。

這種相似性暗示著富人明顯覺得英國對他們索取太多。

最佳化後:

Roughly similar amounts of people left the UK for financial reasons (10%) and tax purposes (9%), suggesting the wealthy are apparently finding that Britain asks too much of them in the way of public investment。

因為經濟(10%)和稅收(9%)原因離開英國的人比例大致相同,這暗示著富人明顯覺得英國對他們索取太多。

分詞作主語

原句:

It is a privilege for local people to get cheaper accesses to the local tourist attractions。

以更低的價格進入當地旅遊景點是屬於當地人的特權。

The privilege can give the local people a sense of belonging。

這種特權讓當地人感到一種歸屬感。

最佳化後:

Having a privilege to get cheaper accesses to the local tourist attractions can give the local people a sense of belonging。

擁有以更低價格進入當地旅遊景點的特權,讓當地人感到一種歸屬感。

原句:

People consider that the fund of maintaining the public facilities including the museums and historical sites is contributed by the local tax payers。

人們認為維護包括博物館、歷史景點在內的公共設施的費用,來自當地納稅人。

It is legitimate for the local authority to grant the local people discounts of entrance fees。

當地政府理所應當為當地人入場費打折。

最佳化後:

Considering that the fund of maintaining the public facilities including the museums and historical sites is contributed by the local tax payers, it is legitimate for the local authority to grant the local people discounts of entrance fees。

考慮到維護包括博物館、歷史景點在內的公共設施的費用來自當地納稅人,當地政府理所應當為當地人入場費打折。

02 從句的運用

主語從句+賓語從句

原句:

People yearn for the good old simple days。

人們懷念以前簡單的日子。

This is because the speed of modern technology forces us to speed up our pace of life。

這是因為現代科技的發展速度迫使我們也要加快生活步伐。

最佳化後:

Probably what makes some people yearn for the good old simple days is that the speed of modern technology forces us to speed up our pace of life。

也許人們懷念以前單純日子的原因是現代科技的發展速度迫使我們也要加快生活步伐。

狀語從句+定語從句

原句:

Chinese people tend to choose high speed trains to travel between cities。

中國人傾向選擇高鐵作為城際交通。

High speed trains are faster than shuttles and cheaper than airplanes。

高鐵比巴士快,比飛機便宜。

最佳化後:

When it comes to traveling between cities, Chinese people tend to choose high speed trains, which are faster than shuttles and cheaper than airplanes。

中國人傾向選擇比巴士快,比飛機便宜的高鐵作為城際交通方式。

狀語從句+賓語從句

原句:

Wherever you go, I will hunt you down。

不管你去到哪裡,我都會窮追猛打。

I will hunt you down to get back what you owe me。

我窮追猛打你,拿回你虧欠我的。

最佳化後:

Wherever you go, I will hunt you down to get back what you owe me。

不管你去到哪裡,我都會窮追猛打,拿回你虧欠我的。

狀語從句+定語從句

原句:

When people are used to being caged, they will end up like parasites。

當人們習慣了被圈養,就會變成像寄生蟲一樣。

People will end up like parasites that are unaware of being shamed。

人們變成像寄生蟲一樣,被欺辱了也不知道。

最佳化後:

When people are used to being caged, they will end up like parasites that are unaware of being shamed。

當人們習慣了被圈養,就會變成像寄生蟲一樣的,被欺辱了也不知道。

今日作文批改

這周的作文範例是一篇5。5分、一篇6。5分的大作文。一篇關於工作,一篇關於環境,大家可以比較一下兩篇文章在詞彙、語法、句式上的差別和各自的提分點,看看自己是不是在寫作中也犯了同樣的毛病,順便積累一下好的表達。

大家可以先對照題目自己寫一篇練習,再看看你的作文裡有沒有老師指出來的錯誤。

雅思寫作中分詞和從句的運用 | 附作文批改

雅思寫作中分詞和從句的運用 | 附作文批改

頂部